No Happy Nonsense

All Posts Filed Under: Fiction




Jan 6th, 2024


Through The Line


I was on my computer playing a video game. Some kind of MMO that either looked a lot like Lord of the Rings or I somehow had a screen overlay that was literally playing Lord of the Rings with like a 50% opacity over whatever game I was playing. There was something Ringsy about it, either way. I was ...
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Filed Under: Fiction


Dec 23rd, 2023


On The Pile


I met up with my two brothers last weekend. None of us had contacted one another, no one mentioned the ritual, yet there we all were waiting in our cars at the trailhead with stacks of wood in tow. ...
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Filed Under: Fiction


Dec 16th, 2023


Topgolf Sucks


We all know that I love golf in an abstract, spectator-only type of way. Golf television broadcasts are quiet meditative perfection, but playing golf itself is stupid and boring and lame. This is fact; it is not something to be debated. It is just a matter of growing to accept this truth of life. ...
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Filed Under: Fiction


Dec 9th, 2023


Hard Truths About Life


Life is hard, everyone knows that. Even little kids, still naive and relatively perfect little orbs of hope not yet punctured and misshapen from the world understand that life is hard, but they understand it because they don't get to eat ice cream for dinner while watching paw patrol on tv while ...
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Filed Under: Fiction


Dec 2nd, 2023


Green Is Not Gold


I've been trying to eat better lately. Very lately, like for three days. I've finally eaten through all the pie, and when I finally woke up from my necessary binge-recovery slumber, I realized I should improve my health. I also need to find a good divorce lawyer. ...
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Filed Under: Fiction


Nov 25th, 2023


Pie


I want pie, ice cold outta the fridge onto a plate and down the cavernous maw that is my mouth and esophagus and stomach bile. Some of you are already thinking to yourselves, "sure pie is great, but cold? Cold pie?" and to that I will not say anything other than "yes" as I hit the send button on my ...
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Filed Under: Fiction


Nov 11th, 2023


The Messengers


The first dead deer was pushed over onto the sidewalk, a short trail of blood marking the posthumous path it took from the road. I came across the carcass during one of my runs and I hopped over it out of reflex. It was only after I hit the ground on the other side of the body and made it a few step ...
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Filed Under: Fiction


Oct 28th, 2023


Patching Things Up


I’ve started sewing a lot recently. ...
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Filed Under: Fiction


Oct 21st, 2023


My New Ride


I bought an EV last week. ...
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Filed Under: Fiction


Oct 14th, 2023


Two Memes From the Pit


The first few years I worked in an office, I was put into this sort of open pit of a cubicle with three other people. We were at the end of the cubicle alley and it was made from the leftovers of older cubes the company had lying around. They had too many people on the floor so they kinda just shove ...
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Filed Under: Fiction


Oct 7th, 2023


I'm Fifteen Away


I'm running late for work but I'm feeling hungry so I mentally plan in another fifteen minutes to get some food on the way. I pull out my phone and open my smart outlet app, Smarter Life. I hit the button to open the garage door and turn on the garage lights. I go into my car and my phone pairs with ...
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Filed Under: Fiction


Mar 9th, 2021


Henrik's Twelfth


Henrik's face was bloodied; his right eye swollen so badly that it was completely shut, his left eye just as swollen but somehow he could see out of it - or at least he was pretending he could. Henrik sat on the bench in the locker room, blood from his mouth, nose and eyes pooling below him onto the ...
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Filed Under: Fiction


Feb 15th, 2021


21's in Outer Metro


"Hey Rook," Turn said to his new partner as he stood up at his desk. "We got a 21-21 down in the OM. You good for that?" Turn grabbed his jacket and walked towards the exit, not waiting for the answer. ...
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Filed Under: Fiction


Sep 26th, 2019


Harriot


A very short story about a computer. ...
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Filed Under: Fiction