What a save!
August 11th, 2020

Dear Lord,
I've never believed in your before but I'm calling in a favor now. If there's anything you can do to make sure that when I play this next round of Rocket League that I'm not paired with totally inept, fucking useless shitbrained morons for teammates, I will forever be indebted to you. I will go to church every Sunday, unless like you're not a Christian deity or whatever, in which case I guess I'll have to learn about whatever religion actually maintains the best form of worship and then begin the conversion process or whatever, but that seems kind of like, I don't know, broken? I guess? Like if I have more or less personal proof that you exist and are almighty, do I like, actually need to convert to some official religion to worship you? Seems like humans are just kinda fucking around and getting in the way of things in that case, I don't know. But, regardless, I'll worship you on a regular basis, and I swear, I'll be a good person. Or at least as good of a person as I can be, considering a lot of damage has been done already and I mean, I'm just really deep into my own personal shortcomings and bad habits and stuff. How realistic is it for me to like completely change all of that overnight? Probably a real low retention rate with that type of drastic life change, no? I want to be in this for the long haul, my future-lord-if-my-teammates-in-Rocket-League-aren't-trash.